Top 5 Reasons my health is declining.
10.) For some reason an authentic old-west town encourages my Vince Neil Disease to act up.
9.) The whole town is lit by mid-afternoon. All the antique, sliver, and leather merchants join the tour guides, train conductors, gunfighters and my personal fav the Living Legends* at the saloons for beer and whisky.
*The Living Legends are Janes & Joes that dress up (pro bono) as cowboys and victorians, and saunter around town talking and taking pictures with tourists. If you ever have a chance to share a beer with an undertaker, débutante or rifleman, do it. Click here if you'd like to apply to be a Living Legend.
8.) There is a 24-hour bar/casino (slots and v-poker) called the Mark Twain or as people endearingly refer to it as, "The Twain". Needless to say if you are at the Twain at 4:30 AM then it's too late for you. You've already gone to the dark side.
7.) If you get hungry after 9 PM, then you only have two choices in town, both from the Twain - pizza (frozen) or nachos (fake cheese). Doesn't sound bad? Trust me, it's part of the dark side, you pay a price.
6.) I've seen it first hand - folks that keep this routine up for too many years begin the Kathleen Turner transformation. I think I'm safe for now.