Pickled Eggs, Fallen Soldiers And A Frisky Deputy

I've been doing more writing, hence I only went out three nights last week...

Wednesday Night

Went to Sergeant Major’s (a drinking establishment that honors law enforcement and the military). The woman managing the bar jukeboxed a song called “Arlington” and told everyone to be quiet and listen to the lyrics. The ethereal quasi-punk girl next to me broke into tears. The bar manger took a drag and announced, “It’s the song”. Everyone listened in silence, heads down, soaking up the lyrics. Afterwards a more upbeat song came on. The quasi-punk girl wiped away her tears and orchestrated the bar manger's two young daughters to sandwich her. The three of the them danced tightly pressed together in a Lynchian unison. I just watched.

Friday Night
Didn't want to go out, but I could hear a band play from the Ponderosa Saloon so I walked down to check them out. I said hi to the regulars and had a seat. During "Radar Love" a cute brunette in black high heel boots sat down, asked if I had a girlfriend and checked my hand for one of those lifelong commitment rings. We hung out till morning. She works at a nearby jail as a deputy, likes to sing country, drives a Ridgeline and leans towards the deviant side. We'll hang again.

Saturday Night
Drank lots of beer and scotch at the Brass Rail while listening to karaoke (I don't sing - haven't since I butchered "Caribbean Queen" Thanksgiving Eve 2007). As the bar closed a biker with a Fu Manchu asked me if I would go to his hotel room and "knock the bottom" out of his wife. "She's on the heavy side, but she's really sexy", he said. Maybe if I hadn't met the cute deputy the night before I would have considered the auspicious offer. But I passed and walked to the Twain where I struck up a conversation with two attractive early forty-somethings. Things were going well until the one I liked - think Lucy Lawles with lots of belly jewelry - saw that they had pickled eggs. The bartneder fished one out and put it on a paper plate. After her and her friend had a bite, she offered it to me. I said no thank you. My preserved ovo refusal bothered the shit out of her. "As a writer you need to experience this," she said. I asked for a reward and she offered me an "open mouth kiss", which suddenly seemed less than desirable while thinking about her pickled egg saliva. I decided to put my stomach first, and left without the kiss (actually I got one on the cheek from both of them).


  1. Ummmm, pickled pigs feet and pickled eggs are QUITE the delicacy. Lawless was right to goad you. Shame on you not to venture there...and i thought YOU had a penchant for the deviant....

  2. Pigs feet and Pickled eggs??? left out the pickled hog balls& grizle lumps? What movie introduced those revolting delicacys??
    laughed so hard need grandpa's "depends"
    the heritary chin and waddle? That explains alot. what a relief to know my multi-chins
    were inherited.
    You are 2 funny.
    auntie V